Not that I think it shouldn't be talked about; on the contrary. I'm pissed off that the entire conversation is directed at women.
One of the things being sent around is a list of tips to avoid being raped. It includes keeping your hair short, carrying your keys in your hand, etc.
Even the photo included in the message causes us to look at this girl, knowing she is about to be attacked. Why? Well obviously because that guy is wearing a ski mask. All rapists wear ski masks. But her skirt is above her knees, she has long hair, she's going for a walk near an abandoned building!
Now I'm not saying we shouldn't talk to women about rape. We absolutely should protect our sisters and daughters as much as we can. We cannot, however, ignore talking to our brothers and sons about it.
For me it comes down to this: Instead of giving our daughters tips to avoid being the victim, we should be teaching our sons to not be assailant. Raise your sons right, your daughters can live without fear.
It baffles me why men aren't pissed off at all this talk directed at the women. Why aren't they pissed off that it is assumed a man cannot control his base urges, that he is naturally a rapist? Realistically if I think about it, it's likely because if a man ever stood up and said, "hey! I'm not a rapist! I can control my pants, stop putting us all in the same box!" women's groups would go BATSHIT and claim the problem is being ignored. After all, if we can't blame the men for this, who can we blame?
Everyone needs a scapegoat. No disaster can happen without some finger pointing going on. In this case, it's being pointed at the victims far too often. And quite frankly, one might as well say "she asked for it".
I've said for a long time, this is a women's problem, but not in the way everyone usually sees it. Yes, it's up to mothers to raise their sons right. I can put my hand on my heart, and say, I know, 100%, categorically, my boys would not rape a woman. They are fully red-blooded men, but they know how to behave.
ReplyDeleteNow, when I've said things like this over the years, I get told that some women are usurped by bad husbands. Again, I blame the woman. She chose, or chose to stay with that man and allow his influence on her sons. I am told women don't have time to talk to their boys, due to life circumstances. I don't buy that. I am told that peers and society over-ride all the good she's done. I don't buy that either. Unless a boy has a psychological disorder, his mother can and should be able to instill a sense of right and wrong into him that lasts for life.
This is not an iffy or woolly subject. This is not open to debate, it is not relative, it is not situational. Rape is never, ever right. There is no such thing as "date rape". There is only rape. It's not a new idea, and it's not defined by culture. It's really very simple.